First, let me just say that this is going to be real, like REALLY REAL. It is going to be crossing so many boundaries and it is going to be really TMI SO DON’T JUDGE OK? Ok cool, let’s begin.

Let’s start off with a definition of anxiety, because you have probably heard of it before, but unless you have had it, you probably do not know exactly what it is or what it does. 

Anxiety: a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease, typically about an imminent event or something with an uncertain outcome. 

Symptoms:

• nervousness, restlessness, or being tense.
• feelings of danger, panic, or dread.
• rapid heart rate.
• rapid breathing, or hyperventilation.
• increased or heavy sweating.
• trembling or muscle twitching.
• weakness and lethargy.

So let’s tackle a little beast I like to call anxiety. Here is the difference between depression and anxiety for me: Anxiety- I feel like I am dying. Depression- I feel like I want to die. Extreme examples, but when you have bad anxiety or depression that is what it can feel like.

 

As you probably already know, I had depression in the past due to the loss of my son’s biological father and being single and pregnant… but during that time, I never experienced any kind of anxiety. I had always heard the word anxiety used pretty loosely but I had never actually experienced it before. But let me just preface, everyone experiences anxiety in some form whether it’s the butterflies before the big speech they have to give or the rapid heartbeat you might get before going on a first date. However, the anxiety I am talking about today is much more than those nervous jitters.

 

The Start of My Anxiety

 

My battle with anxiety started in May of 2019. I had just started a new birth control called NuvaRing because I was sick of taking the pill every day. Things started out really good with it and I did not notice any sort of bad side effects like I had in the past with other forms of birth control. Life, in general, was really good, and I was really looking forward to August because my family and I were all headed to Europe!

Around June I started having some stomach issues (this is where everything is going to get really TMI lol). Basically I would almost sh*t my pants on the daily (fun, yay!). Some days I was completely fine and felt great and others not so much. I also started to get nauseous randomly all the time as well.

Then came the anxiety, and it hit me like a train out of nowhere. I remember being at work and all of a sudden I felt like I couldn’t breathe. I would start taking bigger breaths and felt like the air was not coming through. My heart would then start racing and I would get extremely hot and panicked.

Since I have never experienced real anxiety in my life, I had no idea what was wrong with me… I legit thought I was dying. Little did I know, I was experiencing mini panic attacks.

As my stomach issues continued, so did my anxiety. Every time I ate, I got a stomach ache right afterward and because of this, I didn’t want to go out anymore. I felt like I was trapped in my own body, or in a new body that wasn’t mine.

I started experimenting and realized that any time I ate anything remotely spicy, it would instantly go right through me. When I say go right through me, I mean that I had a matter of seconds once the stomach ache hit that I would need to find a restroom or else it would be bad news.

 

Anxiety in Europe

 

Europe was coming up and I wasn’t even excited anymore. My anxiety went from being anxious about pooping myself to anxious about every single little thing. When we left to Europe I could hardly even keep it together. I had so much anxiety about leaving Hudson. I was so worried that something bad was going to happen to him when I was gone that I got to the point where I just wanted to cry and stay home.

The day came to leave and my anxiety was through the roof, saying goodbye to Hud was so painful and scary. When we got to the airport, I had a new feeling of anxiety, which was now the fear of flying.

When I was little I had a big fear of flying because I had experienced some really bad turbulence on some flights and it scarred me. When I got a little older that fear went away, and because I traveled so much for tennis (like every other weekend) I lost the fear of flying completely. But now that fear was back and worse than ever because of my anxiety.

I legit sat straight up and pretty much looked out the window for the entire 11-hour flight to Amsterdam, sounds exciting right? Anytime the plane got even remotely bumpy, I death gripped the armrests and prayed to God not to let us crash. The entire flight my stomach was in complete knots and I could not eat a thing.

My entire Europe trip was pretty much like this on and off. I was constantly stressed about potentially having to use the bathroom and not having access to a toilet because it’s Europe and toilets are not easy to find (or free). Any time we went on a long train ride I felt panic because I worried about having to go to the bathroom, which sounds silly but I legit could not control the anxiety I had about this.

Not having a restroom nearby gave me mad anxiety, which made me feel physically sick. I would feel weak in the knees like I was about to pass out. On my trip, I started using meditation to help me with this and it honestly made a big difference. I would put my earphones on and listen to a meditation podcast and it would significantly calm my nerves.

Despite my anxiety, Europe was still so so much fun and I truly had a blast with my family. The flight home was another rough one for me. Like before, I did not eat or do anything besides reading and looking out the window for 11 hours. When I got home to Hud a wave of relief hit me. My anxiety for his safety was instantly gone which was nice.

Anxiety Continues in Utah

Once we got back to Utah I still experienced anxiety and the same stomach issues. I honestly do not know why I kept ignoring them, thinking that they would go away on their own. The anxiety kept getting worse and I started experiencing chest pains which gave me even more anxiety because now in my head I thought I was either having a stroke or a heart attack.

I finally drew the last straw after a date night I had with Jacob and Hud. We went to one of our favorite pizza and wing places and I decided that I would try eating spicy food again. Big mistake! As soon as we left the restaurant my stomach started gurgling. Within seconds of my stomach gurgling, I knew I had to find a restroom ASAP. SO TMI but I legit had goosebumps on my arms and felt like my face was on fire because I was seconds away from pooping my pants (lol).

Jacob started making jokes to Hudson saying, “Huddy, mommy is going to poop her pants haha.” I snapped at Jacob and told him to shut up because this, “wasn’t an effing joke.” It’s funny now but I was so mad at him because this was a big trigger for my anxiety. Luckily I made it to the bathroom Woop Woop, but this was the turning point for me… I knew I needed to see a doctor ASAP.

The Diagnosis

Scared and anxious I finally went to the doctor to see what was up. I did a full blood test panel for my stomach which was another traumatic thing for me because I HATE blood and needles. The results came in after a week and my doctor told me that there was a reason I was almost pooping my pants every day and it was called H. Pylori.

Pylori is a stomach bacteria that you get from contaminated food or water. You test positive for H. Pylori if your blood count is at a 9 and my count for H. Pylori was at a 20. So my doctor said I had it pretty bad, which is probably why I had such horrible symptoms. I have no idea how I got it, but my guess is maybe from our honeymoon in Mexico the year prior. The bacteria is super resistant to antibiotics so I had to take 2 different antibiotics for two weeks. Basically, my doctor had me taking 7 pills a day for two weeks… it was intense.

During the course of taking these antibiotics, I did not feel any better. I actually felt worse, because the antibiotics were making me super nauseous. Since I didn’t feel well, I kept feeling the anxiety. The chest pains also continued which made me think something else was not right.

Then I thought of it, my birth control. My anxiety started not long after I started NuvaRing. I went to the ob-gyn and got some more blood work done and since I was having such extreme symptoms, my ob-gyn wanted me to get an EKG done. My ob-gyn also wanted to take me off birth control completely.

How to Manage Anxiety

Within weeks of being off birth control, my anxiety got significantly better. Now it has been almost four months off birth control and my anxiety is day and night. I still have it every once in awhile, but it is much more manageable and nowhere near like it was before.

So to all of you ladies with anxiety out there, check your hormones! It could be a hormone imbalance or sometimes even a lack of Vitamin D. Like I said above, my anxiety is so much better now that it’s hardly there… but I still get it from time to time and I am going to share with you what helps me get through it.

1.Music

I was experiencing anxiety the other day at work, completely out of nowhere and it wasn’t over anything. I just felt it for no reason. So I turned on my happy song! Summer by Calvin Harris always makes me feel so happy. I turned it on, tapped my foot to the beat and lipped the lyrics while I worked. When the song was over, I continued to listen to songs that were also upbeat. Within 5-10 minutes I seriously felt so much better.

2.Meditation

Meditation works well when you are extremely anxious. This helped me a lot when I panicked! I use the app Calm and Headspace for this but you can also find guided meditations on Spotify.

3. Affirmations

This helps so much! Whenever I experience anxiety I first have to recognize it. I tell myself that I am experiencing anxiety and that everything is ok. Then depending on the situation, I will tell myself, “ I am strong, I am calm, and I am safe.” I will say it over and over until I start believing it and it really helps.

4. Exercise 

Exercise is beneficial for your overall health but it’s also super great for clearing your mind! I don’t always find the time to do this, but if I can, I feel so much better!

5. Social interaction

Sometimes when you have anxiety you want to curl up in a ball and not talk to anyone. I know because I did it for months! Sadly, I never even told my husband I was having anxiety and I tried to battle it all alone. Once I finally told him and started opening up, it helped a lot. Also telling a close friend who experiences it too made me feel understood. Surrounding myself with friends or even just talking with co-workers at work helps me reduce my anxiety significantly!

Overall, anxiety can be a big battlefield. Find what works for you and stick to it! If you’re really struggling I would look into your health, because like me, your anxiety could be caused by some internal health issues.

Thanks for reading and learning all about my pooping and mental health problems lol, and if you are struggling and need someone to talk to please do not be shy to reach out! I always respond to my DM’s so please don’t be afraid to message me. Love you guys!

 

Much Love,

Mayci J 

@maycineeley

 

The other day Hudson took a pretty nasty fall and banged his head pretty hard. Between the cries, he muffles “I got back up, that means I am a champion.” I didn’t hear him quite clearly and I honestly didn’t expect something of that stature to come out of his little mouth. He said again, in a happier, more excited tone… “I got back up mom, that means I am a champion!” I literally almost cried. My four-year-old son taught me a greater lesson that day then I could ever teach myself. 

Typically, I am someone who is pretty self-critical. Lately, my mindset has been this crappy spiral of negativity, stress, and hopelessness. I have tons of confidence in myself, but I tend to think of myself as lazy. I don’t do enough, I don’t accomplish enough, I don’t make enough money, therefore I am not successful. But when I heard Hudson mutter that he was a champion just for getting back up, it made me emotional. 

Champion Mindset

I thought back to the time when I was pregnant, severely depressed, recovering from an abusive relationship and the death of my son’s biological father. Just like Hudson, I was down. I felt like I was kicked to the floor and I wasn’t ever going to get up, but I did.

I didn’t realize it then, but I just recently realized it once Hudson taught me, that I am a champion! I got back up, I went back to school, earned my #1 position back on my tennis team. Although, times did get tough again. A year later I tore my ACL and once again I felt like I was kicked to the floor. I could either redshirt and go back for another season after 12 months of extensive and painful rehab, or I could stop now and save myself a lot of time as well as physical and mental pain.

There were teammates of mine who asked me if I wanted to go back because if it were up to them, they would just be done now. Here’s the thing, that is just not me. I don’t quit. You know why? Because there have been many times in my life where I have had to deal with a lot harder things, and quitting now would be a complete disservice to myself. Getting through depression, loss of a loved one, abuse, and pregnancy taught me that I am capable of getting through anything.

So, ten months later I was back on the tennis court playing #1 again. In my mind, not only was I going to come back from tearing my ACL, but I was going to EARN my #1 spot back. I rehabbed six days a week for 2.5 hours at a time. I challenged myself. When I was finally cleared by my doctor to start running, I would push myself to the point where I was practically falling off the treadmill. Sweat would be falling off my face so fast that I could hardly see out of my eyes because they were stinging so bad.

When I was finally able to get back on the tennis court, I practiced the full three hours with my team, but I would also ask my coach if I could do an extra hour before practice because I was determined to be my best. In our team workouts, I always wanted to be the first to finish a sprint or squat the most weight despite the limitations with my knee. I didn’t do it for the need of self-gratification, I did it to show myself what I was capable of. That despite my bad knee and time off the sport, that I was just as able as anyone else.

My senior season ended up being pretty good, I set high expectations for myself even though I had basically taken a year off of tennis. Setting low expectations would have set me up for failure because I would be ok with average results. When I lost, I was very hard on myself and when I won, I didn’t celebrate because I expected myself to win every time I stepped on the court.

When my tennis season finished, I never felt proud of myself for accomplishing everything I did despite my setbacks. Now that I am looking back, I am completely proud of myself. Every singles match I ever played at BYU was at the #1 singles position, which is very difficult. I beat many ranked players and made it to the final rounds of most of the pre-season tournaments I competed in. The majority of the doubles matches I played in were at the #1 position as well, and I ended up being ranked #38 in the nation my final year. I am not telling you all of this stuff to toot my own horn, instead, I am telling you this because I know that if I can do it, then you can do it too!

Most of our limitations exist in our minds. If you don’t think you can do it, then, well, you can’t. It is as simple as that. When you really focus on what you can do instead of what you can’t do then you will find yourself achieving a lot more. The times when you’re nervous, anxious, or scared, you need to take a deep breath, close your eyes and tell yourself that you can do it because you can!

Many times in life we fall down, we get banged up, broken and hurt. We can choose to stay down, feel sorry for ourselves and cry… or we can get back up. We tend to be very hard on ourselves and overly critical. Even when we do get back up we don’t even see that getting up in itself is an accomplishment of its own. Start being proud of yourself for the little things like getting back up, and you will start to see that you have a lot more love for yourself than you originally thought you did.

I fell down, I got back up, so I am a champion… and you are too.

Resources:

Here are some books that have helped me gain a positive/ champion mindset:

Girl Wash Your Face

7 Habits of Highly Effective People

You Are a Badass

Much Love,

 

Mayci J

I fantasized about love since I was a little girl. I frequently dreamed about what my first kiss would be like. I would expect nothing less than a romantic kiss in the rain like Noah and Allie in the Notebook.

Turns out my first kiss ended up being a couple of random pecks with my crush at my friends birthday party.

The next week my crush made-out with this girl from my high school in front of me at my 16th birthday party because he was mad I wouldn’t make out with him the weekend before. I listened to “Dancing on My Own” on repeat for the next month. Ohh, young love.

Why am I telling you this story? I’m telling you this because I want you to know that love isn’t a fantasy. Sure I may hashtag “couples goals” on my photos but in reality behind the photo, life isn’t always a fairytale.

Couples Goals

I don’t care who you see on Instagram that looks like the “perfect couple” I promise you behind that staged pizza date and twinkling lights photo, their relationship isn’t 100% happy all of the time.

Every couple argues and every couple has disagreements! You don’t need to compare your relationship to that amazing picture perfect couple you see on Instagram. They don’t actually exist in real life. You can’t expect your partner to be Romeo and in return, they can’t expect you to be their Victoria Secret angel.

Don’t wish for other couples or peoples lives. You never really know what they are suffering with behind the scenes. Maybe they aren’t actually suffering, but I guarantee you their life isn’t “perfect.” Granted there are plenty of couples who are truly happy behind their posts, but like I said no one is 100% happy all of the time. My husband and I are SO happy, but we definitely get irritated with each other every once in a while.

Work together in your relationship to bring the best out in each other. I think so often we may think, “Jessica’s boyfriend got her flowers this week for no reason” or “Sarah’s husband is taking her to Paris.” WHO CARES! That’s exciting for them, but just because you don’t get those things doesn’t mean you don’t have the perfect partner for you.

Granted, I love to feel appreciated. If you need flowers or spontaneous trips to feel happy in your relationship then let your partner know. You can’t just give them no indication of what you want and then expect them to do it. If I have learned anything through my dating life, it is that guys need a lot of help. They need you to literally tell them word for word when you want something. If you tell them to leave when you really want them to stay, they are most likely going to leave because they don’t actually understand. They need verbal confirmation!

Valentines Day

For example, Valentines Day this year was a complete disaster. Valentine’s Day is typically every girl’s idea of romance. This year I wanted to do something special for my husband. So I cut out 50+ pink and red hearts and then taped them to the wall of our bedroom and wrote all the things I love about him. Then I did the five senses- sight, smell, taste, touch, and sound. For sight I bought him a movie, for smell I got a new candle, for taste I bought chocolates, for touch I bought lotion, and for sound I made him a cute playlist of our songs. I had everything laid out on our bed with some red rose petals as well. I wanted him to feel appreciated and I wanted him to feel special!

My husband told me that he had class late and wouldn’t get home until 8 pm or so. In my mind, I thought, “hmm maybe he will surprise me and do something cute.” Turns out we weren’t on the same wavelength. He got home at 9 pm and handed me a target bag. Inside it had ice cream and my favorite movie, Bohemian Rhapsody. Then he said, “have you not eaten yet?” I was so mad.

I think I just expected him to do something special because our first Valentine’s Day together (2016) was insanely romantic. He put together a whole scavenger hunt for me with clues that rhymed and meant a lot in our relationship. Then at the end of the scavenger hunt, he had me meet him at this lookout at sunset. He had flowers, a huge stuffed bear, chocolates and then we went to dinner in the city.

The next day (after Valentines Day 2019) we talked about everything and he told me how sorry he was. Here is the thing though, it wasn’t just his fault. It was also mine because we did not communicate effectively. If I would have told him that I wanted to do something special then maybe he would have gotten the hint. Life is also different now, for our first Valentines Day my mom was able to watch my son for us so we could have this amazing date. Sometimes you have to be realistic with your expectations and know that sometimes our guys will mess up!

Real Couples Goals

Although, you need to make sure you are dating someone that actually cares about you. Does he take you out every once in a while or plan a nice date? Does he make you feel special and 100% secure in your relationship? If you answered yes, then that is a good sign. If you have to question his loyalty or defend his character to your friends/family then that is probably a good indication that he isn’t husband material.

Way too often I see girls falling for the wrong kind of guy. I know because I used to be one of those girls. Always wanting the bad boy because he is a challenge and other girls swoon over his carefree attitude. Ladies listen close, he does not care about you. Maybe he does when he is with you, but the second he leaves he is free from care. A guy like this will only leave you heartbroken.

Once I had my son, my type in men had changed. I used to like the bad boy, but I learned from my experiences that I needed to look for someone to marry. Someone who would love me, and only me. Someone who would respect me, and care for me despite my past or flaws. I found him because I learned from my past experiences and I knew exactly what I needed in a partner.

Real couples goals are good healthy relationships. In a partnership where you are completely equal and feel secure.

If this blog post has been helpful for you then share it with others! You guys mean the world to me, if you have any questions feel free to leave them in the comments below! I am always taking suggestions for new blog topics so if you have anything you are dying for me to write about then comment it below!

Much Love,

Mayci J

If you are new to my blog try starting my story from the beginning… Click Here!

To shop my clothes Click Here!

Everyone says the first year of marriage is the hardest, but for us, it didn’t feel that way. Yes, we had to make a ton of sacrifices and there were definitely things we had to adjust to… like living together and sharing a space 24/7.

Truthfully the “hardest” part of my marriage was going into it with a child. Learning to parent with someone else after spending a couple of years doing it on my own and learning their overall parenting style was also part of that.

Different Habits in Marriage

Nothing was really a surprise when Jacob and I got married because we dated long enough to know exactly what we were getting ourselves into… no catfishing here. What I really noticed about being a newlywed was that we have different habits, very different. For example, whenever Jacob makes food and he is on the go, he tends to bring bowls, pots, cups, etc. with him. I always find a pot of oatmeal in his car or a glass bowl with scraps of food left in it. This drives me NUTS. But, he is here.

Jacob is also a CRAZY sleeper. You guys...this guy gets buck wild in his sleep. Just the other night I woke up to him petting...yes, like actual PETTING my head. He’s also a serial sleep talker and walker… and man oh man I get SO upset. But, he is here.

For the record, I am not perfect but I would say that I am cleaner than Jacob. In general, I feel like most girls are more organized or cleaner than guys. My sweet Jacob means well but that sweet man has a tendency to leave everything he touches, out. Whether it’s food, clothes or shoes. It used to bug me so much. Depending on my mood, sometimes it still does, but I talked to a friend the other day and she shared something with me that really stuck. She said, “his mess means that he is there.”

This hit me so hard. I think sometimes we like to pick the faults in others and especially our spouses but at the end of the day, we love the crap out of them and there is a reason we vow to spend our lives with them. His mess means that he is HERE. Here with me. Here with Hudson. Here for our family. Here to love me. Here to make a difference. Here to grow old with me. Let that sink in for a second.

When I was pregnant and alone I wished and prayed every night that I would find my husband and a father for Hudson. I was so depressed and all I wanted was to be happy. Everything I prayed for, I have today and sometimes I get caught up in the moment and forget that I need to sit back and think about how much I have to be grateful for. If the food, clothes, and shoes were not there, it would mean that he wasn’t there either and he is all I wanted and prayed for.

My point on talking about my husband’s “flaws” is to explain to you that we need to be more grateful for what we have. I need to be more grateful for what I have. In general I think as human beings our first instinct is to point out the negative, instead, we need to sit back and find the positive.

I say find the positive because sometimes it isn’t easy to find the positive in certain situations. When I was pregnant and single it was VERY hard to find anything positive in my everyday life. But when you sit back and think about it, there is a silver lining everywhere. I had a healthy baby boy that I was able to grow in my tummy. I had food on the table, and I had a very supportive family. It was hard to see then, but now I see just how blessed I was.

Adjusting to Marriage

The biggest adjustment for me after getting married was definitely money. Luckily I saved like crazy before we got married or I don’t know what we would have done! I think most marriages will struggle with money in the beginning if you’re young or still in college. Adding a kid into the mix makes it even more expensive.

Right now I currently spend $1,600 or more a month on babysitting. Jacob and I are cutting even every month after our expenses. We don’t even make any profit for savings. Life is EXPENSIVE! I didn’t really realize how much life costs until I got married.

Car insurance, life insurance, health insurance, groceries, babysitting, gas money and more. It all adds up and it all kind of hit me like a tornado. Jacob has been on his own since he went to college, so luckily he was already prepared for this.

Being a single mom helped me a lot too. I learned to sacrifice things I wanted for things I needed. I stopped spending money on myself and only spend it on food, gas, and Hudson. Even now I have a hard time spending money on myself. I will only buy something if it’s an investment (like my new expensive camera lens). Sacrifice now so you can spend later.

Other than money, our time together has been a big adjustment as well. Now that it is summer and Jacob isn’t in school it has been a lot better… but fall and winter were SO hard. Jacob would leave for school early in the morning and not get back until 10 pm, sometimes even later. It was rare to see him before 8 p.m

In the fall I was going to school, working an internship and starting my blog all while trying to be a good mom. In the winter it got even more difficult for me. I started working full time in the winter and spent 9 hours plus a commute away from Hudson.

This was incredibly hard at first. I felt like such a bad mom every time he would cry and cling on to me as I tried to walk out the door. No one prepared me for the nights I would come home. Juggling fatigue, mom duties, and my blog was hard AF.

Motivation in Marriage

I constantly questioned myself and went through phases of being super motivated and then super unmotivated. I felt like I had too much on my plate and when I was unmotivated I felt ready to walk away.

Now, in this moment, I will say I am SO glad I pushed through my slumps. Whenever I feel like giving up, that’s when I tend to push myself harder. I have used this tactic throughout my entire life. When I played D1 tennis we would have really hard workouts every week. There were so many times during our sprints or long distance runs where I thought, “shoot I don’t think I can do this any longer” or I would tell myself that, “I could just run a little slower.”

Whenever I had these negative thoughts I would push even harder. I would turn my treadmill up .5 mph or I would go from a jog to a full-blown sprint. I knew that I was capable of pushing it harder and if I passed out or fell on my knees then I would know my limit. But guess what, that never happened.

I guess what I’m trying to convey is that over the years I have learned that we are able to do so much more than we think we can. We are so much more capable of success and victory than our mind tells us. So try this next time things get hard in any aspect of your life. PUSH HARDER. Push harder than you ever have before and you will succeed and achieve the results you are looking for!

If I have learned anything in my crazy life, is that no matter how hard life is or sucky it may seem it will get better and you can NEVER give up. Period.

Anyways I love you, thanks for reading and just being my friend! If this has been beneficial or impacted you in any way please share the love! Come say hi on my most recent Insta post, nothing makes me happier than hearing from YOU!

Much Love,

Mayci J

In general, a single mom receives a lot of criticism and judgment. There’s honestly no real way to get around it, and that’s ok! I had close friends, family, church members, and random strangers judge me all the time. It’s learning to love yourself and your life which allows you to be free from caring about their judgment.

There was one time in particular where I felt so judged and embarrassed as a single mom. I was at a pretty nice restaurant called Javier's for my mom's birthday in Newport Beach. My son was about 14 months old at the time. He was being a little wild during dinner, casually doing a little shriek of excitement or throwing a fork or two on the floor. But it wasn’t to the point where I was concerned or worried that he was being too obnoxious.

We had just got our food when this older woman came up to me. She starts with, “I hope you have enjoyed your dinner,” I looked up and smiled at her and I was about to say, “thanks” but she continued with, “because you have certainly ruined mine. Thanks a lot.” All while looking at Hudson and me with a scowl.

I was so caught off guard. To be honest, I was so embarrassed and confused that I wanted to cry. It’s hard enough to control a child at dinner, but when you’re doing it alone as a single mom,  it’s even harder. Luckily my dad was on the opposite side of the table and didn’t hear this rude lady or else he would have chewed her out. If it were the old me, the “Mayci before having a child,” I probably would have given her a piece of my mind. But becoming a single mom dulled my confidence and overall made me less comfortable standing up for myself like I used to.

5 Ways to Overcome Judgement

With that experience, here are 5 ways I overcame judgment as a mom:

1. Relax– At the end of the day no one is perfect, so who is anyone to judge you anyway?
2. Confidence– Trust in yourself and your abilities as a mom. You had the strength to decide to parent this child, that alone shows an insane amount of confidence.
3. Time– Give it some time. At first, you may feel a little more worried about judgment because you’re new to being a parent, and doing it alone is NOT easy.
4. Laugh– There’s going to be times when your child has a complete meltdown and you wished that you had someone to help. Now you are worried people are looking at you and judging how you raise and discipline your child. It’s in these times when we laugh. Shake it off, every child in this world will have a meltdown at some point, it’s normal. So when it happens, just laugh and get over it!
5. Don’t Give a F***– Excuse my language but this is the most important one of them all. This is the motto that I always tried to follow as a single mom. Don’t feel insecure because you are a single mom… OWN IT. You are the one strong enough to take on the full responsibility of parenting a child. You are a rockstar! When people judge you, brush it off. WHO CARES WHAT THEY THINK. What truly matters is what you think of yourself. This applies to all mommas out there, brush off the haters and keep being that kick-ass mom that you are!!

What I Learned as a Single Mom

With time and growth, I have learned so much from this experience! If something like this were to happen to me in current time I would definitely say something kind back to this lady. When you respond with kindness you will usually see that other people will suddenly realize how wrong they are. I see it on Instagram as well. I have had a few haters or trollers whatever you want to call them. Whenever I respond to these people with kindness, they almost always apologize and tell me that they have been having a hard time and they were looking for someone to take their aggression out on.

Although I completely understand the need to have to put someone in their place or “clap back” at them. I recently had someone troll my Instagram account on a Q&A. They asked me if I was a “fame whore” and if I enjoy “exploiting my child” and more. This is the first time I maybe responded negatively or snarky towards another person. In certain situations, you can’t let people walk all over you and not have any repercussions for it. They will continue to do it to others and think it’s ok.

I also want to talk about Instagram for a second. Do not compare yourself to ANYONE. I know you will see mom’s on there with their perfect families and sparkling clean houses with kids who look like they actually breathe excellence. I promise you, it is all for the gram. They do not have it together all the time. Nobody does! Instagram is just a highlight of life, it doesn’t always show the flaws or the inconsistencies.

Let me know if this has been helpful for you! If it was, then please share it with others! Social media, when used right, is such a powerful tool to help spread positivity and I would LOVE if you shared my blogs with others!

If you have a topic or anything you want me to blog about, leave it in the comments below!

Much Love,

Mayci J

 

If you are new to my blog click HERE!

Click here to see my life highlights!